you can tell it's serious because i'm not capitalizing the beginnings of my sentences or my "i"s, because i'm feeling lazy, tired and SERIOUS.
i don't really do "serious" on the internet. i feel like people do "serious" to get attention, for the most part. my blog is somewhat silly, or at least i intend it to be and i do like it that way, however while i am somewhat silly i am also somewhat serious. those of you who know me well know that this is true. that is because sometimes life is rather suckish or suckly or whatever you know what i mean and during those times that suck i become somewhat serious. this is how i think it happens:
every once in a while Life (which is capitalized to set it apart as a special place/thing, whichever one you like best) holds a big meeting and all the directors of Life look at me on their 400 plazma screens, each highlighting moments in my present life and the head hancho director of Life says to the others, "uh oh, looks like she's way too happy and is having too much fun again and we can't have that, hit the SUCK button" and then one of the henchmen (cause they have those) waddles (cause that's how they get around) over to a huge red button that says SUCK and they hit it really hard so that it clicks down and stays down. this sets off a big, or sometimes small, event in my life that makes my life suckish for a while, or for a little bit, but more commonly a while. then, once the directors of Life see that i have ceased my fun ways and i have learned my lesson(s), whatever it may be, the head hancho director of Life says to the others, "well that was suckish for her and i think she may have ceased her fun ways and learned her lesson(s), release the SUCK button" and then one of the henchmen (cause there are many henchmen and this is probably a different henchmen than before which is why i said henchMEN and not henchMAN) quickly waddles (cause they are happy to finally release me from my suckly time and therefore quicken their pace) over to the huge red SUCK button and they hit it really hard to release it to its starting up position. this makes it so that a big, or sometimes small, event in my life occurs making my life less suckish and returning me to my previously happy and fun state of living that has been lessened due to the humbling or sometimes crippling suckish time i have just experienced. eventually this humbled and sometimes crippled version of my happy and fun time will wear off and i will return to my previously way to happy and fun state and this entire process will repeat itself.
this happens and will continue to happen for my entire life until i am dead. whoa, that was direct and a bit morbid, but it's true. you'd think i'd learn and just stay in the state that makes the directors of Life most satisfied and therefore saving myself from the SUCK button. unfortunately i haven't figured out how to do that, and so the cycle continues.
so. i guess the reason i just spent a really long time typing this up is to say that right now, in my life, i feel like the SUCK button has been pushed and i am in that state of being where i'm suppose to be learning my lesson(s) whatever it may be. i may feel this way due to the stress of finals crushing me, or perhaps the stress of moving out of the dorm or maybe other stresses that i'm not going to whine about right now or maybe a stress i don't even recognize is there, i'm just not sure how to pinpoint the source. all i know is that i have finally recognized that i am not too happy or having too much fun due to stress and i need to bounce back so that one of the henchmen can receive the order to release the SUCK button.
and definitely the overlying reason for typing all this is because this is my blog. my thoughts and experiences get to be put on here and i have promised (due to my choice of blog title) to tell you about what it is like to live a day in my life. well here's the short answer that will destroy any justification for ever posting another post :
sometimes a day in my life is not all silly and jokey jokey and fun and crazy, which is definitely contrary to popular belief and the way i have written about my days at BYU on this here blog. sometimes it is suckish or suckly or just sucks. whichever.
and by the way, it's totally OK. this is just how life works and operates. if life didn't suck sometimes we would never learn about anything important. i can definitely say, without any doubt in my mind whatsoever, that i learn more about myself and things outside of myself when life sucks than when i am super happy and having way too much fun for my own good. and learning is important. duh.
SO. if you are having a suckly life moment right now, guess what! me too! and guess what else! it'll go away and you'll be happy again! the key to getting out of it is figuring out the lesson that needs to be learned and LEARNING THE SUCKA! you can do it. I CAN DO IT. remember, the head hancho director of Life wants to release the SUCK button, but we have to show that we have learned our lesson.
fair enough? i think so.
love austi
ps. this is my second blog today. so there's two new ones not just one. sorry that i just can't control my little blogger self =]
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